Pokemon Whoa!
by metallicwolff
Summary: What really happens when you transfer caught Pokemon to Professor Willow? My kids got me hooked on this game and I asked that question. Here is the answer.
1. Chapter 1

Pokemon Whoa!

by metallicwolff

"What did you say your name was again?" asked the ancient Asian fellow behind the desk, not even looking up from his paperwork.

"Buttflew…Harold Octavius Templeton Buttflew. Level 21 Trainer for Team Instinct, and general all-around good guy. Seriously, you should know me by now. I'm in here every week. Now why don't you shuffle along and tell Professor Willow I'm here. I have plenty of, um…trade goods for him today."

With a raised eye and a look, the eldery man gave a curt nod and pushed back from the desk. Standing he said, "I'll be a moment. Make yourself comfortable at the bar."

As the man hobbled past the curtain directly behind the desk, Harry walked in through the main entrance to the nightclub. He never understood why Willow insisted on meeting here for there business transactions, but Harry didn't care. The PokeStop was one of the hottest nightclubs in town. He and his friends often tried to get in, but were turned away more often than not by the gravelers that stood guard. At least now, before official hours, he was allowed in without contest.

Harry was your typical Trainer, young, fit and highly motivated. The one thing that stood out about him, aside from his blue tinged black hair and black eyes, was the fact that he refused to wear his team colors. A member of Instinct all his training career, he despised yellow. He, instead, favored orange. His jacket was black with orange highlights, his pants and shoes were adorned with orange stripes, and his visor and backpack sported an orange Pokeball symbol. He liked being on a team, but still thought of himself as an individual.

Moving through the seating area, he made his way to the ornately carved bar that ran the length of the establishment. While a team of gravelers hurried about preparing for the upcoming night's crowd, Harry pulled out a stood and sat. Not five minutes later, his appraisal of the mahogany bar was interrupted by the person he was there to see. Professor Willow.

"Harold, my boy, good to see you again," said the Professor, as he held out his hand in greeting. Harold took the hand and shook it, "Afternoon Professor. Why does that old codger give me a hard time every week?"

Laughing, the ravages of age disappeared from the eccentric professor, and he moved behind the bar and poured he and Harry a drink. "He's just doing his job Harold. I like to keep my establishment very professional. You can't just let anyone in here."

"You own this place?"

"Yes, I do. Performing Pokemon research isn't the only thing I do. Now, what have you brought for me today?"

Taking a gulp of the harsh liquor given him, Harry stared at the professor and nodded. Taking off his backpack and setting it on the stool beside him, he carefully removed two dozen Pokeballs. While he was doing this, the professor stood, fasinated, watching each ball being placed on the bar. He'd 'oohh' and 'aaahh' at each one, but was very excited when the last five were removed. "Where did you get those?" he asked.

Smiling at the strange, long haired professor, Harry shook his head, "A good trainer never reveals where he finds his stash. So, how much for all of them?"

Five Pidgies, six Ratata, a Caterpie and seven Weedles were all pretty common, but the one Vulpix, two Squirtle, one Charmander and one very powerful, and obviously pissed off Pikachu were not. The professor crossed his arms, and stroked his clean shaven chin as he contemplated the specimen. "You know how much Harold. One candy each, no more, no less. That is the standard price."

"Come on professor, can't you see your way to giving a bit more for the last five? You know those are harder to come by. Maybe throw in some Stardust or something."

All humor was gone from his face, as he reiterated his offer. "One candy each."

"Alright, alright, one candy each. Maybe next time I'll take my business elsewhere. Heck, what do you need with all these Pokemon anyway?"

When Harry asked that question, it was as if the world had stopped, for everyone in the bar cessed what they were doing, including the professor. With an all to quick recovery, the professor reached under the bar and brought out a strong box and a smile, "Why Harold, I ensure they are healthy and return them to the wild."

"Yeah, sure you do," said the youth with a snort, as he finished off his drink.

While the professor counted out the candies from the strong box, Harry felt, more that saw, the Pokemon that worked for the professor moving closer. Looking over his shoulders, Harry was brought back from his thoughts as the lid to the box was slammed shut. "So, you want to really know what I do with the Pokemon Harold?"

"Hey, none of my business," said Harry quickly, trying to fend off any unpleasantries. He knew as well as anyone that there wasn't much of a market for caught Pokemon. Professor Willow was pretty much the only action in town, and he didn't want to ruin that. But as the professor continued to stare at him, he felt hot breath on his shoulders. A quick glance showed him that he was now surrounded. Not by gravelers, but by their ugly evolutions – golems.

With a gulp, he stammered, "Seriously, sorry Professor. I was just joking around. I'll just take whatever you think is fair and be heading out. There are a lot of other Pokemon out there, you know, 'Gotta Catch'em All'. So, anyway…"

Cutting him off, the professor took on a reflective pose, "You know something Harold, I like you. Remind me of myself, you do. So tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a little tour. I'm going to show you exactly what I do with all these Pokemon, and then I'm going to give you two options. How does that sound?"

"Um, sure. That'd be great," the youth now completely unnerved.

"Good, good. Now come with me. My golem friends will make sure you don't get lost along the way. Oh," said the professor over his shoulder as he walked through the doorway behind the bar, "don't even think about attacking with your Pokemon. I have more than a dozen golem here, and twice as many gravelers waiting for me to give orders. Got it?"

"Yes sir."

Through the doorway they walked. There was a small kitchen used for cooking the meals ordered by the patrons of the PokeStop. Nothing out of the ordinary, until he opened another doorway at the back of the room. Behind the door was a stairway leading down.

Harry followed the professor down three flights of stairs. When they reached the bottom, the professor entered a code into a keypad and a laser scanned his retina. When that was completed, the metal door in front of them slid open. On the other side was something out of a dream…or a nightmare.

An underground Pokemon Gym was easily seen beyond a large glass wall. Pokemon were training everywhere. All of then had a strange device around there neck, or in the case of some of the more 'strange' specimen, around an appendage. "This is my gym. Each night we hold battles. But these battles are to the death. And on the other side of the gym," pointing beyond, "is where I have my other obsession. My restruant."

"A restruant? For what?"

"Why, for Pokemon."

"You make them battle and then you feed them?

"No, my boy. I have some of the most talented chefs on staff. Their speciality is preparing and servine Pokemon to my paying customers…and it isn't cheap."

Harry could only stand and stare. Smiling, the professor asked, "Have you ever tasted fried Weedle? Delicious! Or Pikachu steak, with a light wine sauce? Superb! Harold, this is my empire. I give you trainers candy, and you make me millions!"

Harry was astonished to say the least. He'd heard of underground gyms; had even tried to find some to make a quick buck. But this was unbelievable. And to eat Pokemon? He thought he might be in the middle of a nightmare, unable to wake. That, however, was not the case, as a golem pushed him towards a chair.

The professor had sat down and faced the window, watching the training. Harry was pushed down into a seat next to the mad scientist. "Harold, all this could be yours one day."

At that Harry was even more shocked. "What?"

Looking at the boy, he said, "I'm getting older. I have no children of my own. I'd hate to see all that I've built up lost. I need a business partner – a young business partner. Someone that can appreciate every aspect of Pokemon training. I think that partner can be you. Now, your two choices. One, you can walk away and never return. I have ways of making sure what you've seen will never be remembered or believed."

"You're gonna kill me?" shouted Harry as he tried to stand up, but was pushed back down by a rather large golem.

"No Harold, I am not. I do, however, have a very powerful Hypno under my employ. He can make sure none of this is ever remembered. So, your second choice is to take up my offer. Be my partner. Continue to catch Pokemon for me…for us. And in return, I will teach you the business and leave everything to you when I'm gone.

"There it is. Those are your choices. What say you?"

"Why me?"

"Why you? Because Harold, I've watched you for years. You are the most gifted of all trainers I've dealt with. I want the best for my business. I want you as my partner. So, your answer?"

"Well, I need to think about it for a bit. Can I get back to you on this?"

"I'm afraid not Harold. I'll have your answer before you leave this room."

At that, a Hypno that exuded power walked through the door. Professor Willow simply stared at Harry and waited.

"I guess you leave me no choice, not that it's really a choice. I'm in. I'll work with you. I think it's a bit evil, but what the heck, I love Pokemon. Maybe they can make a nice living for me."

Smiling once again, the professor clapped his hands and a Meowth walked in from another door. "Yes sir?" it purred.

"Take the Pikachu young Harold brought in and have it prepared. Tonight we celebrate a new partnership. Tonight Harold will taste true victory over Pokemon!"

As the Meowth walked away, an evil grin on it's face, Harry asked, "Was that a talking Meowth?"

"Yes, it was. Paid a fortune for him, as he's one of a kind, but he's worth every candy."


	2. Chapter 2

**Pokemon Whoa!**

-Demise of Jigglypuff-

by metallicwolff

Harry was frustrated. He'd been working for Professor Willow in a more permanent capacity for about a month, and everything had been going fine until his most recent request. Willow was an erratic individual, extremely brilliant, but erratic. He was often considered the 'Father of Pokemon', as he had, in his public life, promoted the sport of Pokemon more than any individual in the world. He was the most respected scientist in the study of the strange creatures that shared the world with humans. But his private life was something different altogether.

Professor Willow, secretly, was the owner of the most popular nightclub around, Pokestop. What people didn't know was that deep underground, in the basement of the nightclub, Professor Willow ran an illegal Pokemon Gym and a resturant that served Pokemon on the menu, exclusively. Pokemon had been on the endangered/protected species list since the late 80s. Considered special creatures, mostly magic, though no one could prove they were magical, they had been loved by almost everyone since the start. So it came as a shock to Harry when he found out about the true nature of his benefactor.

Always one for a quick profit, and not one to really care what the the rest of society thought of him, Harry had jumped at the chance to work for Willow. Not that he really had a choice in the matter. Willow had used his army of golem and gravelers to coerce him into agreement. He'd have capitulated anyway, but there had been no room for negotiation. And that, at least today, was pissing Harry off. Willow would contact Harry via unorthodox means, usually a captive Pokemon of some sort, and given Harry orders. It was often 'I need two dozen Pidgies for the bar, we are running low on _chicken wings'_ or something like that. For the most part the orders were easy to fill, as Harry was a seasoned veteran Pokemon Trainer, but this recent one was a bit more difficult.

The current order was for a dozen Jigglypuff. One Jigglypuff was bad enough in the area they lived, but a dozen by one trainer was nearly impossible. Unfortunately the laws for trading Pokemon had not been passed yet, so he had to catch them all himself. At level 23, Harry could handle the request, but in the timeline given; well, he was having difficulty.

Over the past three days, Harry had slept very little. He had used all of his contacts and tracked down eleven Jigglypuff. His twelveth objective was currently playing rough with a Ratata in the field just beyond the set of shrubs he hid in. Reaching into his belt pouch, he grabbed one of his many Great Balls and prepared to throw. He had to be careful not to hit the Ratata. He had no need for the little rodent. He had plenty, and not even Willow really wanted them. He used them as food to feed the other Pokemon he held captive in his underground gym.

Stifling a yawn, he saw an opening and whipped his arm back for a throw. Giving it a little twist, the Great Ball curved out in an arch, striking the Jigglypuff right in the face. Tired as he was, Harry was spot on in his aim. The Jigglypuff struggled against the pull of the ball, as the Ratata scampered off. Harry dug into his pouch for another ball, just in case, but it was unnecessary. With a final thrash, the Jigglypuff succumbed to the ball and disappeared into the circular, portable void.

Sprinting to the ball, Harry scooped it up and jammed it into his backpack. Now that the current order was filled, he breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards the Pokestop. He had plenty to deliver besides the Jigglypuff, including a very plump Drowsy. He hoped he could persuade Willow into letting him try that for dinner. He'd never had Drowsy before and thought it might taste a bit like pork.

As he entered the Pokestop, walking without comment past the golems standing as doormen, he slipped past the ancient Asian man that acted as the maître d'. He still didn't like the way the old man looked at him when he visited the nightclub. He had never asked Willow if the old man knew what was really going on, but he suspected he did.

Giving a nod to the bartender, Harry walked behind the counter and through the curtained doorway that led to the kitchen. Continuing past the hustle and bustle of the kitchen staff, he went to the private doorway and descended the many steps to the hidden world below. Now, as a member of the staff, he had access to the area below. Once in, he found Willow watching the night's activities by himself, as usual.

Looking away from the bout, which was between a Vaporeon and an unusally strong Venamoth, Willow asked, "Did you get what I needed Harold?", insisting on calling Harry by his formal name.

Also looking away from the strange bout, which looked to be very interesting, Harry replied, "Yeah, but that was one hell of an order for one trainer is such a short time."

Standing, Willow smiled at his youthful business partner, "Of course it was, but I had no doubt you could manage it. Level 23? Quite the accomplishment, that."

"Yeah, I guess. There are many higher than I, but I do okay."

"You're entirely too modest Harold, now come, show me what you've got?"

Walking to a large table in the back of Willow's private chamber, Harry unceremoniously dumped the contents of his backpack on the table. As the table had been equipped with a lip around the perimeter, the filled Pokeballs simply rolled around, but didn't fall to the ground.

"I've got a number of others for you, aside from the twelve Jigglypuffs. I was sort of hoping we could celebrate the catch by, um…"

"You'd like to eat one of them?"

"Well, yes, I would. I caught a rotund Drowsy and I figured, since it wasn't particularly strong, we might have it for dinner."

Clapping the youth on the back, he smiled and said, "An excellent choice, and of course we can have it for dinner. You caught it, and you're my partner, you can decide what happens to it."

Clapping his hands, he called for his servant, "Meowth!"

A moment later, a unique Pokemon entered the room, "You called for me Professor?"

"Ah yes, Meowth. Please prepare this Drowsy for us this evening," picking up the appropriate ball. "I'd say as a nice roast with mixed vegatable and a light gravy."

"An excellent choice sir, will there be anything else?"

"No Meowth. That will be all. Harold and I will be in the lab. Call us when it's ready."

Nodding, the talking Meowth left the room. "I still can't believe you got your hands on him. I thought he was only a legend."

"Oh, he is legendary. And so is the greed of his former associates. It was easier than you could imagine once I tracked them down. He was a bit dejected at first, but I think he's grown to like it here. He has a certain level of freedom, and he lives very well here.

"But that is another story. Back to the table. What did you get?"

After showing Willow his captures, six Pidgies, five Ratata, two Spearow, a weak Nidoran, four Psyducks and a half-dozen Magicarp, he asked, "You mentioned a lab to Meowth, what is that?"

After dropping all but the Jigglypuff filled Pokeballs into a shute in the wall, he said, "Gather up the Jigglypuff and I will show you."

Harry had been in may places of the lower levels of the gym in the month since he'd been in business with Professor Willow, but the hallway they now walked was not one of those places. At the end of a dark corridor, Willow went through the usual biometrics to gain entry, but Harry could see that this one was different, and commented on it.

"Only I have access to this area, for now. If you continue down the path I have laid before you, you will have access as well. But not quite yet.

"Now, have you wondered why I asked for a dozen Jigglypuff all at once?"

"Sure, was was thinking about that the whole time I was catching them. What gives?"

Flipping a switch on the side of the doorway, the rooms in front of them flickered to life. It was a laboratory unlike anything Harry had ever seen, not that he'd seen many.

"What is this place?"

"As I said, this is my lab. Come, bring the Jigglypuff and I'll show you another side of my 'business'."

Following the Professor, they entered into a side room. In the middle of the room was what appeared to be a large mixing kettle, equipped with a large rotary laddel, which was attached to a motor above. Also above the mixing kettle was a strange device; part vacuum tube, part meat grinder.

"Have you ever wondered how incense is made, or what it's made of?"

"Sure, I guess," shrugged Harry.

"Well, it's one of my many inventions. It is protected under extreme copyright laws, so no one really knows what it's made of. As a matter of fact, only I know…and now you know as well. Give me the Jigglypuffs."

Wide-eyed, Harry handed the backpack over to the Professor. Stepping up on a small stepstool, the professor dumped the contents of the backpack into the glass hopper above the kettle. Shutting the lid, Willow flipped a switch and the blades started to rotate, moving the dozen Pokeballs around the glass chamber.

Stepping away from the machine, Professor Willow moved to a control panel on a desk full of such things and flipped another switch. After that switch was engaged, the blades started moving at a much faster rate, while a distinct vacuum sound could be heard. Within moments, the blades started to shred the Pokeballs and the contents into bits.

Unable to take his eyes off the process, Harry listened to the Professor as he described the process. "The balls are made of a special metal. When you grind them up and keep them moving at a high rate of speed, they become magnetized and are sucked up to the electro-magnet at the top of the vessel. The vacuum sound is sucking the ground up Jigglypuff down into the mixing bowl below.

"Once the process is complete, I will add a few minor additives to the juiced Jigglypuff, perservatives mind you, and after two hours of mixing, it can be dispensed into the incense canisters. A batch of twelve Jigglypuff will produce about three-dozen incense canisters. At the current rate of exchange, that is one expensive commodity."

Amazed and slightly sickened, Harry could only say, "I never knew."

Again, with a slap on the back that roused Harry from his thoughts, the Professor said, "Come, let's gather the other ingredients from the store room. I'll show you just how much to add. By the time we finish, that Drowsy will be just about ready."

Harry followed the mad professor into the next room. He wondered at the life he now lived; wondered if his future held a similar fate to that of the unfortunate Jigglypuffs in the mixing kettle. With a shrug, he shook of the morose and went about learning a new part of the job.


	3. Chapter 3

Pokemon Whoa!:

The Struggle is Real

Harry stormed into the private chamber of Professor Willow and whipped a pokeball across the room with such vehemence that is shattered the mirror it struck. "Damnable thing!" shouted Harry.

Raising an eyebrow, but otherwise ignoring the outburst, and the shattered mirror, Professor Willow, who had been watching the night's bout from his favorite viewing spot asked, "Something wrong Harold?"

"Is there something wrong? Yes, there's something wrong. I just hatched another egg. And do you know what I got? A friggin Rattata! Seriously, a rat. I feel like I just walked those 2 kilometers for nothing!"

"Yes, the struggle is real."

"Are you mocking me?" asked the youth angrily.

Standing, the older gentleman smiled and raised his hands in supplication, "No, mock you? Of course not…well, maybe just a little.

"Come Harold, settle down, have a drink and let me explain something to you."

Taking a deep breath, knowing he was being very childish, he did as he was bid and took the offered drink, a strong spirit made from the distillation of rice and Gastly vapors. It had bite, but it was just what he needed. Having sat again, Willow asked, "Better? Are you willing to listen?"

When Harry nodded yes, Professor Willow continued.

"Yes, you walked 2 kilometers and you hatched a rat. It happens to everyone. Unfortunately, many years ago, when we had the chance to rid the region of Rattata once and for all, a certain goodie-goodie fought to keep them around."

"Who was that?"

"Nevermind that for now. It's another story, one I don't like to discuss _him_. Anyway, the PokeCouncil voted and it was decided that the useless Rattata be kept as one of the 'allowed' creatures in our region. I was against it, but the voice of the one was strong, and _he_ swayed the others. So we still have the pests. And yes, you will still happen upon one in the lesser eggs, but…", smiling as viciously as Harry had ever seen the professor, "I came up with a delightful solution to the rat infestation. Would you like to see that side of my operation?"

Gulping the last of the drink, and cringing as the liquid burned his throat, the youth stood and said, "Yes, please. Show me how to be rid of that particular infestation."

Stopping to pick up the discarded Pokeball, he handed it to his youthful friend and said, "You'll need this." To the Meowth that stood attentively by the door, he said, "Pick up the mess and have dinner prepared, I think the two of us will be working up an appetite."

"Yes sir," purred the Meowth with a slightly New York-ish accent.

Following the Professor, he wondered just how much his mentor had paid for Meowth, but knew he may never know.

Down a now familiar set of hallways, he followed Professor Willow to his laboratory. But instead of the front rooms he was familiar with, Willow led him to a new room; farther down the hallway, deeper into the unknown.

Beyond the next door Harry stopped and looked at what could only be called a meat grinder. It was huge, metallic and ugly. At the end of it was a conveyor belt that led to another machine he could not understand. It had pistons and tubes on the top and it looked like a long oven of sorts.

Smiling as his youthful friend took in everything, he finally spoke. "Have you ever wondered what Pokemon Lure is made of?"

"To be honest, not really. But I'm guessing I'm about to find out."

"You would be guessing right. Come, bring your 2 kilometer prize with you. We need to load up the machine."

Walking to a panel on the far wall, Willow pushed a series of buttons and entire wall-panels started to rise. Behind the walls were cages full of disgusting, pinkish-purple Rattata. "These, my young friend, are what we make Lure from. We grind them up and press them into a mold. Come, help me fill the hopper!"

With that, Willow grabbed a cage and walked to the big grinder in the middle of the room. Using a step stool, he upended the cage over the hopper. The Rattata, a simple minded, highly disgusting, and overly populated Pokemon, happily frolicked in the hopper, unaware of what was to come. Harry, followed suit and helped fill the hopper to the brim.

"I think there is room for just one more," said the Professor.

Smiling, Harry took out his Pokeball, stood on the stool and depressed the release button. Out fell the object of his scorn. Stepping down, he asked, "Now what?"

"Would you like to push the button?"

"Yes, please."

Walking to the panel, he showed Harry what to do. When done, the machines buzzed to life. The screams of the dying Rattata weren't as bad as Harry was expecting. Maybe that was a bad sign. Was he becoming an uncaring monster? Whatever, he thought, I hate Rattata.

As the machine compressed Lure after Lure, Harry said, "I'm hungry. Have you ever eaten Rattata?"

"Oh yes, terrible mistake. Rattata are the chum of the Pokemon world. Not fit for human consumption. Come, I sort of expected you tonight. I had Meowth prepare a delicacy. One of my US constituents shipped me fresh Tauros. It is truly some of the best Pokemon flesh out there."

Looking back over his shoulder as they left the machines to finish their work, Harry once again thought of his innocence, but shrugged it off, as his mouth waters at the thought of the exotic Tauros!


End file.
